Power Struggle in Relationships: Signs & Ways to Deal

Power struggles can overshadow even the most harmonious relationships. Often couples do not realize how and when the urge to control threatens their relationship.

Competing for power in relationships can manifest in a variety of ways, such as constantly vying for control, decision-making, or dominance.

This article examines the complex dynamics of power imbalances, exploring how they can erode trust, communication, and intimacy. Discover strategies for overcoming these challenges, fostering healthier relationships, and fostering a delicate balance between partners.

What is a power struggle in relationships?

Looking for a definition of power struggle? A power struggle in a relationship refers to a dynamic in which both partners compete for control, power, or dominance.

It involves a constant battle for influence and decision-making power, which often leads to conflict and dissatisfaction.

Power struggles can arise from many factors, such as differences in values, communication styles, or personal insecurities. They can manifest when one partner is controlling, manipulating the partner, or engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Such struggles can erode trust, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction.

A common example of a power struggle in a relationship is when one party dominates in decision-making, leaving the other side feeling ignored and ignored, leading to resentment and discontent.

10 signs of a power struggle in relationships 

Competing for power in relationships can damage the overall happiness and harmony of a partnership.

Recognizing the signs of a power struggle is crucial to solving problems and moving toward a healthier dynamic. Here are ten common signs that indicate a power struggle in a relationship:

1. Constant arguments

Power struggles often manifest in frequent conflicts and disagreements. These arguments tend to revolve around controlling, decision-making, or asserting dominance. Partners can engage in heated debates, each vying for their own desires and preferences to prevail.

2. Dominance and control

In a power struggle, one partner constantly seeks to dominate and control the other. They may try to dictate their partner’s actions, decisions, or choices using a variety of tactics such as manipulation, coercion, or even intimidation.

This partner may have a strong need for power and control, often at the expense of the partner’s autonomy.

3. Lack of compromise

During the power struggle phase of a relationship, there is an inability or unwillingness to compromise. Both partners may hold rigid views, unwilling to give in or find common ground.

As a result, the decision-making process becomes difficult and can lead to constant disagreements in competing power relationships, as neither partner is willing to give in.

4. Disregard for partner’s needs

In a power struggle, one partner consistently ignores or denies the other’s needs and wants.

Their primary goal is to satisfy their own desires and maintain control, often ignoring or minimizing the importance of their partner’s happiness. This disregard can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in the relationship.

5. Withholding information

A power struggle may involve one partner intentionally withholding information or keeping it secret. This behavior is often used as a way to assert power and control over others.

By controlling access to information, partners retain a sense of transparency, which undermines trust and contributes to imbalanced dynamics.

6. Manipulative behavior

Manipulation is a common tactic used in power struggles. It may involve manipulating emotions, inducing guilt, or using sophisticated tactics to gain the upper hand in the relationship.

Manipulative behavior erodes trust and fosters a toxic environment where power becomes a weapon.

7. Competition instead of collaboration

Instead of working as a team, partners engaged in power struggles see each other as rivals.

There is a sense of constant competition, in which each partner seeks to gain the upper hand and assert dominance. Cooperation and cooperation fall behind, leading to broken teamwork and lack of common goals.

8. Imbalanced decision-making

In a power struggle, one partner often has overwhelming influence over the decision-making process. Based on this, one of the examples of power struggles is that they can make unilateral decisions without considering the other’s input or needs. This power imbalance can lead to feelings of marginalization and can erode feelings of equality and cooperation in a relationship.

9. Withholding affection or intimacy

Power struggles may involve one partner using affection, intimacy, or emotional support as a tool of control.

They may withdraw these forms of connection as a means of punishing or manipulating others. Withholding affection or intimacy can create emotional distance and undermine the overall closeness and trust in the relationship.

10. Lack of trust

Competing for power in a relationship erodes trust. Partners may be suspicious of each other’s motives or actions, constantly questioning the authenticity or agenda behind their partner’s behavior.

This lack of trust further prolongs the power struggle and hinders the ability to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

How to deal with the power struggle in relationships?

Dealing with power struggles in relationships requires conscious effort and a commitment to promote healthy dynamics. Here are five ways to approach and deal with power struggles in a relationship:

1. Open and honest communication

Effective communication serves as the basis for resolving a power struggle. Partners should create a safe, non-judgmental space where they can openly express their thoughts, feelings, concerns, and desires.

Active listening is important because it shows respect and validates the other person’s point of view. The key is to avoid blaming or being defensive and instead focus on understanding other people’s experiences.

By promoting open and honest communication, couples can begin to identify the underlying issues that contribute to power struggles and work through them together.

2. Seek understanding and empathy

To resolve a power struggle, both partners must develop a deeper understanding of each other’s experiences and perspectives. It requires empathy, which involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand their feelings, fears, and insecurities.

By seeking understanding and empathy, couples can cultivate compassion for each other, recognizing that the desire for control often stems from deeper hurts.

This understanding paves the way for empathy and helps create an environment where both parties feel heard, validated, and supported.

3. Establish healthy boundaries

Clearly defining and respecting boundaries is key to dealing with power struggles. Each partner should have the autonomy to make decisions and pursue their own interests, while considering the impact on the relationship.

Healthy boundaries ensure that the needs and limits of individuals are recognized and respected. This may involve an open discussion about personal expectations, values, and preferences. By establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, couples can create a sense of equality, fostering an environment where power is shared and balanced.

In fact, in one study, it was found that people with well-established boundaries tend to have higher levels of subjective well-being than those who struggle with setting boundaries.

4. Practice compromise and collaboration

Overcoming a power struggle often requires a willingness to compromise and cooperate.

Compromise involves finding common ground and making concessions to reach a mutually satisfactory solution. This requires both partners to be willing to adjust their positions and look for alternatives that meet their needs.

One study explores the role of compromise in romantic relationships. Research shows that couples who are able to compromise in positive and constructive ways report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and commitment.

Cooperation, on the other hand, emphasizes teamwork. It involves bringing together ideas, resources, and strengths to achieve common goals. ‘

By practicing compromise and cooperation, couples can build trust, strengthen their relationship, and create a more balanced and harmonious dynamic.

5. Seek professional support

In some cases, resolving power conflicts may require the guidance of a therapist or professional counselor. A trained professional can generate unbiased ideas, facilitate effective communication, and devise effective strategies to address power imbalances.

They can help both partners better understand themselves and each other, uncover the root causes of power struggles, and develop healthier patterns of interaction. Seeking relationship advice demonstrates commitment to the relationship and a willingness to overcome challenges together.