5 Effects of Emotional Invalidation in Relationships

If you’ve been in a situation where you feel bad about yourself because of what someone said or how they reacted, this could be one of the examples of emotional disabling.

Emotional nullification, the act of removing or eliminating someone’s emotions, is unfortunately a common thing in many relationships.

Whether intentional or not, invalidating someone’s feelings can cause deep emotional pain and damage a relationship. When a person faces voidness in a relationship, it can negatively impact their mental health and affect the long-term relationship.

Understanding and dealing with emotional failure is vital to maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. In this article, you will learn the effects of emotional nullification in relationships and how to deal with it.

What is emotional invalidation?

Emotional nullification is a type of emotional abuse in which a person believes their feelings are wrong or unworthy and, therefore, invalid. It can make the person feel lonely, worthless, insecure and helpless, and they can develop mental health problems.

One of the most common examples of emotional disabling is when an abuser says things that cause the victim to lose confidence and independence. For a broader perspective on emotional validation, see this study by Gregory Witkowski titled “The Impact of Emotional Validation and Feedback Disapproval on Emotional Confidence”.

5 common reasons for emotional invalidation

When emotional invalidation happens continuously in a relationship, it is a clear sign that it is unhealthy. Here are some common reasons why emotional invalidation in relationships may be present.

1. Desire to exert control

When your partner ignores your feelings, it can be one of the signs of emotional invalidation. They may do it because they want to manipulate or control you. In most cases, they expect you to let them know about your activities so they can approve or deny them as they see fit. People who are in control of their partner in a relationship often feel better when someone reciprocates.

2. Insecurity

If you feel invalidated by your partner, they may not feel safe. When someone is insecure, they do things that make them feel better or more important. As a result, they may project their opinions, fears, or thoughts onto their partner to create feelings of inadequacy.

3. Lack of empathy

When a person lacks empathy, they may find it difficult to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. Sometimes the inability to empathize can lead to crippling emotions. For example, a person who lacks empathy may look down on their partner who feels bad about something.

4. Jealousy

If partners are jealous of each other, it can breed hatred, which is one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships. Jealousy can cause a partner to find fault in everything they do.

5. Self-inflated sense of importance

Anyone with an oversized or self-important ego will have a hard time believing they’re wrong. Thus, when a person feels invalidated, they depend on their partner as a standard when it comes to right or wrong, which is one of the effects of emotional invalidation in relationships.

To understand how emotional invalidation affects the mind, try reading this book by Joseph Miller titled Mind Control.

How emotional invalidation affects your relationship: 5 ways

When left unchecked, the effects of emotional disabling in relationships can be devastating. Here are some of the negative effects of emotional nullification.

Inability to manage their emotions

If you feel disrespected by your partner, you may find it difficult to control your emotions. You will doubt how you feel and may start to believe what your partner says about you. When you have personal experience, you may not believe the value of what you have witnessed.

Low self-esteem

One of the common effects of emotional disabling in relationships is when the individual develops low self-esteem. The person may find it difficult to achieve anything good.

Lack of intimacy

When there is no intimacy in the picture, that can be one of the effects of emotional nullification in relationships. Victims of emotional invalidation may not be free to intimate with their partner because they feel unloved and abandoned.

Increased conflicts

If partners have difficulty resolving their conflicts, this can be one of the effects of emotional disabling in relationships. They may not be able to work out the problems in their relationship, which leads to resentment.

The feeling of lack of support

When it comes to the effects of emotional disabling in relationships, lack of support is one of them. Victims who feel helpless will find it hard to believe that her partner is supporting her. As a result, it can be difficult for them to be proactive and get things done because they don’t have the support they need.

How to deal with emotional invalidation from your partner?

When someone ignores your feelings, you can feel worthless. It may be hard for you to think that you can support anything, which is one of the effects of emotional nullification in relationships.

To learn how to stop looking for external confirmation, understand that you are not the problem. It also helps to talk to the person about how they make you feel and whether they can change.

Emotions matter no matter whose

As you become fully aware of the effects of emotional nullification in relationships, it’s important to take a bold step and face the underlying problem. You and your partner might consider seeing a relationship counselor to work through emotional disabling.

You can try Joyce Meyer’s Living Beyond Your Feelings, which helps you learn how to control your emotions so they don’t control you. Remember that everyone’s feelings are equally important.