Unmasking the 12 Games Narcissists Play During Divorce

Divorce is a difficult and emotionally draining experience for anyone, especially when it comes to an overly narcissistic partner. In this article, we aim to provide practical advice on how to navigate the games the narcissist plays during the divorce process, helping you to achieve the desired outcome.

Dating a narcissist comes with many problems like lack of trust, lack of care, emotional blackmail, selfishness, and ego. You may feel relieved when you finally have the courage to divorce. Final! You can have the freedom and peace of mind that have been denied all this time.

Unfortunately, you may not be able to get out of a relationship with a narcissist, even in the event of a divorce. There are mind games that narcissists play when they know they will no longer have access to you. The game of these narcissists is vindictive and oppressive.

You may already be aware of the challenges you face, but there’s no need to be alarmed. You have to fasten your seat belt and be brave rather than cower and hide under the covers. In this article, we’ll reveal the different games narcissists play during a divorce and how you can use them to your advantage.

Understanding the narcissist’s mindset during divorce

When it comes to the narcissist’s game, you may be wondering, “Why do narcissists play games?” To answer this question correctly, it is important to understand their mental state in the process.

When a person with narcissistic traits is about to get divorced, they often have a self-centered mindset and need. Some of the characteristics of a narcissist include pride, need for dominance, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, among others.

A narcissist’s primary goal may be to “win” the divorce and give the other person a bad impression rather than trying to find a solution or fair compromise. It’s like they have a big spotlight shining only on themselves and they can also try to control or manipulate the situation.

Unfortunately, as another partner, it is often difficult to have a healthy divorce and work with a narcissist, as their primary concern is often their best interest. rather than the happiness of others involved. Understanding this point can help you design a new plan that works for you.

12 common games narcissists play during divorce

All you expect is an amicable breakup, healthy parenting and peace with your narcissistic ex. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way with a narcissist. For them, it’s victory and they won’t stop until they’re satisfied.

To prepare for such behavior, here are some games that narcissists play during divorce:

1. Gaslighting

Narcissists often use sarcasm by manipulating facts, distorting facts or stories, and denying their behavior. In addition, they can confuse others, question their perceptions, and question their sanity.

2. Blame shifting

One of the common games of narcissists is not to accept their flaws. Narcissists blame others rather than take responsibility for their actions. They may sometimes exaggerate or fabricate the flaws and misconduct of others to avoid accountability.

3. Victimhood

You already know their games if you have lived with a narcissist for many years. Narcissists are very good at portraying themselves as victims, even when they are the ones who harm others.

In addition, they may seek sympathy and support from others, trying to present themselves as innocent or unfairly treated. In this case, you may be wondering what to do when the narcissist plays the victim. It’s very simple – be assertive and stand firm in your decisions to avoid mistakes.

4. Triangulation

The narcissistic triangle game is a tactic that narcissists use to change an event in their favor. This involves the narcissist bringing in a third party in an incentive to create division and manipulate the situation.

For example, they may use a new romantic partner, family member, or friend to interrupt the divorce process or gain an advantage.

5. Hoovering

One of the games narcissists play during divorce is vacuuming. It denotes an attempt to bring the other person back into the relationship or to maintain control. They may use love affirmations, love bombardments, false promises of change, or tricks to rekindle the relationship.

6. Manipulative bargaining

One of the most popular mind games narcissists play is manipulation. Narcissists use manipulative tactics in negotiations to gain an advantage. They may threaten, emotionally blackmail, or exploit weaknesses to achieve desired outcomes regarding divorce, financial, or custody arrangements.

7. Financial abuse

Narcissists can take advantage of economic abuse if they are financially unstable. They do this by hiding assets, draining joint accounts, or using funds to control and gain power over others.
Imagine this situation: Sarah, a divorced wife, discovers that her overly-loving spouse has been secretly siphoning money from their joint bank account during their marriage. Not only did he drain their mutual fund, but he also hid assets and investments without Sarah’s knowledge.

As a result, Sarah found herself in a financially vulnerable position, struggling to support herself and her future post-divorce. This financial abuse leaves her trapped and dependent while her narcissistic partner retains control and power over her financial situation.

Such scenarios are common when dealing with a narcissistic partner during a divorce.

8. Parental alienation

This game involves the narcissist trying to sabotage the relationship between you and your child. They may lie, make false accusations, manipulate children’s perceptions, or engage in behaviors that may lead to parental alienation or cause children to choose sides.

9. Legal bullying

Narcissists often engage in excessive litigation for control and intimidation. They can use the legal system to harass you, prolong your divorce, and drain your financial and emotional resources. It is an attempt to tire you out and lose the strength to fight for your freedom.

10. Smear campaigns

Narcissists can engage in smear campaigns by spreading misinformation, rumors, or slurs about you to friends and family. Their goal is to damage your reputation and credibility, thereby gaining an advantage in the divorce proceedings.

11. Power and control

Nothing rubs a narcissist’s ego more than the ability to have power and control over others. They often do this by making unreasonable demands, refusing to cooperate, or using threats and intimidation to get what they want.

Even though they don’t like you, they will try to thwart your attempts to leave in a variety of ways.

12. Boundary violation

One of the ways to overcome a narcissist is to set clear boundaries. However, it is not always possible to go for a walk in the park. Narcissists ignore boundaries set by others, invade personal space, access personal information, or try to control their actions and decisions.

How do the narcissists’ games impact the other spouse?

Divorce narcissists play can have a profound effect on the other spouse. These manipulative tactics are designed to assert control, undermine others’ self-esteem, and gain an advantage in the divorce process. Here are some of the ways narcissists play can impact another spouse:

1. Emotional distress

The constant manipulation, teasing, blame, and emotional manipulation used in the games narcissists play during a divorce can cause significant emotional pain. The other spouse may feel confused, void, and emotionally drained as they try to understand the distorted reality created by the narcissist.

2. Self-doubt and guilt

Narcissists are very good at making their partners question their perceptions and reality. For example, gaslighting can lead to self-doubt, causing the other spouse to question their judgment and feel guilty about things for which they may not be responsible. Additionally, blaming narcissists can cause you to internalize unwarranted guilt.

3. Financial strain

Financial manipulation is one of those familiar mind games that narcissists play during divorce. They may conceal assets, cancel joint accounts, or refuse to fulfill financial obligations. Additionally, they can leave the other spouse financially vulnerable, struggling to support themselves, and potentially affecting their ability to secure a future.

4. Legal battles and stress

Another effect of the narcissistic game is the stress of legal action. Narcissists often engage in excessive litigation, using the legal system as a tool for control and harassment. This can lead to lengthy and expensive legal battles, causing immense stress and anxiety for the other spouse.

Dealing with a narcissist’s manipulative tactics during legal proceedings can be emotionally and mentally draining.

5. Damage to reputation

Narcissists can launch smear campaigns, spreading misinformation and slurs about other spouses. Such actions can damage their personal and professional reputation, lead to isolation, lose support systems, and potentially affect relationships and future career opportunities. future.

6. Delayed healing and closure

The narcissist’s games can prolong the divorce, making it harder for the other person to heal and move on. The constant play of power and manipulation can hinder the process of ending, prolonging the emotional impact of a divorce. Therefore, consulting with a therapist or marriage counselor is very important.